Relationships

Being a girl, I have already planned my entire wedding since I little! But hey, what little girl doesn't? What little girl doesn't dream of the perfect wedding, perfect house, perfect children, and most of the perfect man? You build this dream guy in your head, dreamy hair, deep blue eyes, golden skin, strong, loving, caring, someone who wants the same things as you, right? Well of course! It's interesting to look back and see the man I dreamed of as a little girl and then go back and look at the people I have given my love to. Was/were those/that guy anything like the boy you built in your head? So many times they are nothing like it.

This is more of a reflection blog than anything else. The past 4 weeks at NewHope we have talked about making marriage last a lifetime. Although I am not married yet, I plan on getting married one day and I was so excited to dive right into this series. When I thought of getting married, I dreamed of marrying the wonderful Christian man who lead me and my family in the prayer of God in our home. But this series is so much more that that and I wanted to wait until the end of the series to share my reflections and thoughts.

So in the first week Pastor Benji talked about finding that number one. So your first thought is finding the right guy or gal, right? Of course, everyone wants to find that fantastic one that will make your heart melt. But what he meant was finding God as your number one.

Matthew 22:37-39 37
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself."

"To love someone like God loves them, we have to love God like he commands us to. Until then, we cannot be fully content with the relationship."

Loving God the way he intended us to love Him will teach us how to love others and most importantly will you teach you how to love the person you spend the rest of your life with.

Jesus is the one.
Only He can meet certain needs
Don't rely on your spouse to fulfill those needs.
Your spouse is your number two.

When God is number one in your life everything will start to fall into place the way he has planned.

Exodus 34:14
"Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God."

I like this version better
"You must worship no other gods, for the Lord, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you."

God is passionate about having a relationship with me and my prayer is that I grow more and more passionate about my relationship with him.



So sometimes I find it super difficult to keep my relationship with God number one in my life. It's not always as easy as having a person sitting right there with you to touch and look in the eye. But sometimes I find myself focusing on other things so much more than I focus on God. I focus on work, other relationships, family, and by the end of the day I'm exhausted and fall asleep without even realizing did I speak to my number one relationship of all time today? But when I start focusing on God first those other relationships will start growing. And the best relationship is one that is shared in the love of Christ. Specifically the one I have with Tyler. The closer I am to God, and the closer he is to God, the closer we become as a couple.

In my high school Bible class we studied this triangle diagram. The Model of love.



And since I am not married, my triangle say Kelsey and Tyler in the place of husband and wife, as Girlfriend and Boyfriend.
So the closer we both grow to God the closer we both start growing together, and let me tell you how much I love this diagram, the closer I grow to God the more I grow closer to Tyler, and the more we start understanding each other better and better yet each others relationship with the Lord.

So the next week we talked about finding the number two in your life. Your souse.
3 things I learned about how you know when you've met that person

1. You have Jesus in common more than anything else.
2. Being attracted to that person.
3. You can serve God better with that person that you could alone.

There is nothing more beautiful to me than a godly man.

Be wise by God's standards.

don't be easy on these things

1. Who I'll date.
2 Corinthians 6:14-15 - "Don't be yoked with an unbeliever..."
You cannot change him/her.

2 What I'll do.
It matters how I act and live as a Christian
1 Peter 1:14-15- "... be holy in all you do"
Holiness still matters, and purity still matters.

3. What I'll expect.
Don't expect less than what you have desired. Expect more out of who you chose to spend your life with.
Ephesians 3:20- "Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely
more than what we might ask or think."
I desire a godly marriage, and I'm not going to stop desiring that for someone who doesn't want that.

One thing that really sunk into my chest was that I need to make sure I'm not making myself number one in Tyler's life. I need to help him be accountable (and him make me accountable) to making God his number one.

(skipping the third week)

The fourth week was probably one of my favorites. We had a guest speaker, Michael Thompson come in and speak about the Role of the Masculine Heart in a marriage. And yes again I'm not a male, nor am I married. But he spoke exactly how my heart feels about how I want my husband to be.

He talked about the responsibility of a mans heart for his wife:
1. To provide
2. To protect
3. To redeem
4. To restore

Then he showed us a video by Jon McLaughlin - Beautiful Disaster
(here's the link, I have no idea how to put the video on here sorry!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eWDZqc7lCc

The number one thing that I want is for my future husband to pursue God before pursuing me.

Ephesians 5-25-26

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word."

The love should be based on giving, not getting.

3 things that Jesus knew
1. He knew who he was
2. He knew where he was
3. He knew the good that God was up to in his life

These things are things that most of us are trying to master.

A woman's heart has been on a journey, and a man needs to know where her heart has been, before he was a part of the picture.

3 things a woman asks a man
1. Do you see me?
2. Do you like what you see?
3. Will you fight for me?

A little girl (or big girl) doesn't just act like a princess, she is a princess.

Core desires of a woman's heart
1. To be romanced
2. To have an irreplaceable role in a great adventure
3. To offer her beauty

The number 1 fear of a woman's heart
1. Being abandoned.


Okay, so this is all that Michael Thompson spoke out (in a nutshell).
The reason this was one of my favorite series is because I found out more of what I was focusing on and more of what I need to focus on.
The second reason is because now I know I used to change my expectations because I didn't want to feel abandoned.

I guess I really wanted to reflect this by blogging, because I used to be the person that changed my expectations and desires in fear I would lose something that I thought was going to last. But when I decided to step back and let God control the things that will last I found out so much more about myself, and realized how much I was missing before. God took control of my life, all aspects of it, and has blessed me with a godly man who loves God more than me, and with a family who taught him to be godly. God blessed me with parents who instilled the same values. I guess before I was scared of being abandoned. And now I know God is going to take care of me. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for my life with Tyler. But trusting Him is the first part. Trusting that God is teaching me and Tyler to love each other they way He has intended it to be is so exciting because you start seeing the fabulous results.


This was one of my longer blogs, and more of my notes from the series, if you wanted to see the series they are all online at www.newhopenc.org

And I guess it's a way of telling my story and how God changed my life and put people in my life that love me the way God intended love to be.


Zephaniah 3:17

Rest Easy

Night after night I spend laying in my bed and wonder "How hard is it going to be for me to fall asleep?" Then my mind starts racing. I go over all that happened that day. Like, what I did at work, (if I even went to work) what am I going to do tomorrow, my JV and Varsity volleyball teams, my grandma, my parents, my little sister in college, whether or not Tyler is home safely, my older sister who is supposed to be having a baby any day now, my other grandma who lost the love of her life and now is alone, and most of all what the heck am I going to do with my life?????? Anything that you can possibly think of I think about it at night.

I don't know if it's the dark room and the silence. Or if its just things I push under the rug and just don't have time to think about during the day. But tonight it was heavy. Heavier than it has been in the past.

It's Saturday night and I worked tonight at the restaurant. A lot of crazy people. Drunk people. Sober people. Children. Grandparents. Moms. Dads. Sisters. Brothers. As I go to peoples tables I wonder just what their life is like outside of a care free Saturday night. But one thing I often forget to realize is that they are people just like me, who worry just as much as I do. Who have loved ones that they worry about. Who have no clue what they are going to do with their life. Some of these people are worrying about how they are going to make it through to the next month, and I'm worried about things I can totally control.

Now I'm not saying that I can't worry or stress out about things, but what I am saying is that I always try to deal with things on my own at first. But finally, it takes it's toll on me and I break. (Yes, I do have a breaking point)

This final breaking point is God speaking so loudly above all the noise and confusion in my life saying "Leave it here, on me."

Matthew 28:11
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Sometimes I wait until I am so run down and exhausted from the battles I try fighting on my own, to finally look at the one person who will go through these things with me.

God tells me to lay my burdens down. He will take them and completely carry them. So tonight thats what I am doing.

God I am giving you all my burdens, I am laying them down at your feet and surrendering, because I can't do this stuff without you. I know I'm stubborn and try and try and try, but I fail every time. I need you to help me through these things. God, you told Abraham to pick his stuff up and go. Abraham had no idea where he was headed or why. But he did it. he easily could have ignored it and tried doing things his own way, like so many times I do. But God give me faith like Abraham, to trust you when I feel like I can do it on my own.

Tomorrow morning is Sunday. I long for Sundays when I get up and get ready to fall before God and worship him all morning. My heart needs the rejuvenation it gets from a Sunday morning worship. I need it like I need air to breathe. WIthout Sundays, I'm lost.

Psalm 103:1-4
Bless the LORD, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
2 Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
3 Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,
4 Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,


This verse here takes all my worries away. Everything I stress out about is covered completely in these 4 verses. God takes care of everything.

I find it so incredibly easy to praise God when all is well in my life, and I find so incredibly easy to forget to praise God when there absolute destruction in my life.

So God I ask you:

Bring me joy , bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings you glory.
And I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise you
Jesus bring the rain.

MercyMe "Bring the Rain"

Sometimes God has to yell above all the noise going on in my life. And sometimes it takes a night like to night in the darkness and silence of a room for me to finally listen to him saying "I'm here all you have to do is talk to me" and its just that easy.

Back to Matthew 28:11
"...and you will find rest in your souls.."

I want to find rest in Him, whether I can fall asleep at night or whether I toss and turn till 3AM.

But I have to ask God for the wisdom to come to him first from now on.

I'm so ready for worship in the morning.



Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."

and I know He is to.

Rest easy folks, God wants to carry our burdens.Even the biggest ones.


Zephaniah 3:17.

Love God//Love People

1. Let the Redeemed of the Lord Say So.
2. Hosanna
3. I Exalt Thee

Sometimes I find myself totally being critical of how other people thing; especially when they call themselves Christians. I feel like with the name Christian comes a lot of responsibility. I guess it's like when you play for a sports team... when you are wearing those colors, that jersey, that name, you are representing something. So when you're out and about you are representing that organization. You have a standard to live up to so that you don't give that company a bad name. You want people to have a good image of what the group you are representing. So acting irresponsibly or rude and crude usually isn't the way you go about acting. Usually when you have to represent something you are on what your parents used to say "Be on 'Your best behavior'". And if you violate that conduct, there are usually consequences, usually in a job setting you could be fired, on a team you could be kicked off. So I guess with the name Christian comes the territory. We have to realize who and what we are representing.

But then I have to look at this way. People have learned differently, grown up in different churches, had different backgrounds. But instead of trying to understand, it makes me angry and I get really frustrated. But instead of getting frustrated I need to learn to be patient and love those people even harder because if they truly are a Christian they are my family.

Ephesians 3:14-21
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.


I have two sister, a mom, a dad, and two grandmas. But I also have a Heavenly Father, and too many brothers and sisters in Christ to count. My family is my Christian family, So when I get frustrated I have to look at it as they are my family I need to understand more and do what I can to represent Christ in the way He intended me to.

The crazy thing is, is that recently I have gotten very annoyed with someone who claims to be a Christian but then take the Bible out of context and uses that as their witness and sometimes I have to sit back listen, and then react. But no, stupid me just reacts and gets angry. This person tries to back the logic up with Bible verses, but like I said everything is taken out of context. In church on Sunday my pastor said this:

"When you see people as God sees people, you will love people as God loves people".

As soon as he said this my heart sank deep into my chest. I was completely wrecked by God. He said to me then to stop getting frustrated with people this way and love them because I love them. And I cannot tell you enough of much that laid on my heart the rest of service and through out the night. I humbled myself before God and asked him for the patience and the forgiveness I needed from him.

I have to learn that as long as I am the representative that I am supposed to be God will do his work. And I have to realize that this person is my family. God loves them just as much as he loves me.

This is the first part of this blog that really was laying on my heart to share... here's the rest of what I am thinking.


Ephesians 3:16-17
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,



I learned that when becoming a child of God I inhabit this power that Christ has given me as he lives in me. In the verse above, Paul is praying for us to realize that power and using that power. Pastor says "One of the greatest tragedies of a Christian is untapped power". I need to be more like Paul and pray that I start using this power that God has put inside of me, more.


Ephesians 3:17-18
so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,


God's whole desire for me is not for to me know all the information, but for the transformation of lives. Yes the information is a huge deal in transforming my life. But if you have all the information and you're not transforming, its untapped power.


I know God loves me. But God loves me more than I could ever imagine. I need to learn to love like God. I want God to break my heart for what breaks his.



God's love for me far beyond how long, how wide, how high, and how deep the ocean is.


I guess this will be something that I will have to get better at I just pray that God gives me the strength and the power to see people the way He sees people, so that I can love people the way He loves people.

I absolutely love it when I leave church completely wrecked and awestruck before God.




Zephaniah 3:17.

Step Into It

I have learned, I am most afraid of failing. I think I know what I want to do for the rest of my life, but then other options are given to me and I have no clue again. But when I think about it, I wonder if I have placed God in the center of these plans I have made for myself.

1. His love endures forever

2. How great is our God

3. Alleluia, the Lord God Almighty reigns

4. Holy, holy, holy.

"Unstoppable Courage"

In church on Sunday, I learned that "The path to your greatest potential is often straight through your greatest fear"

In 2 Samuel 23 we learn about Beniah.
A few facts about Beniah:

1. He was in the top 5 of all the soldiers in Israel. TOP 5!

2. He was a General in the Israeli army. Meaning he led around 24,000 troops.

3. He was the captain of King David's body guards.

So needless to say our Beniah was a pretty fierce fellow. In verse 20 we learn that he kills a lion. A lion for crying out loud! I mean how terrifying is that? To know that probably one of the biggest fears in your life you're getting ready to face. But Beniah trusted in the Lord, and his Lord was big enough to shut the mouth of the lion.

So the next question is
"How does your greatest fear impact your daily life?"

Basic studies show that courageous people chase lions, and cowardly people run form them.

"What lion has God called you to chase?"
Maybe a job?
Maybe a spouse?
Maybe going back to school?
Maybe going out into the mission field?
Maybe staying put when you jut want to get out?

When you think of facing your worst fears, remember a couple of things:
1. Know that the bigger your God is, the smaller the "lion" becomes.

Example: Daniel and the Lions den. Daniel was thrown into a den of lions. When Daniel saw these lions he could have run away and let the lions defeat him. But no, Daniel saw how big his God was, instead of how big the lions were.
(Daniel 6:20-22)

-How big is your God?
-Is your God big enough to shut the mouths of lions?
-Is your God big enough to part the red sea?
-Is your God big enough to raise the dead?
-Is your God big enough to feed 5,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish?
-Is your God big enough to walk on water?
-Is your God big enough to make the blind see?
-Is your God big enough to make the lame walk?

Because my God is.

2. Understand that playing it safe is risky!!
-Hebrews 11:6 - And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
-Real faith you can see it, and you can feel it.
-increase the risk, decrease the security, and live by faith.

STEP out of FEAR, STEP into FAITH.
STEP out of YOURSELF and into God's ANOINTED.

Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say,

And to end. 1 Thess. 5:16-19. Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit's fire;

My God is big enough for me to overcome anything that I am afraid of. How big is your God?

Zephaniah 3:17.

The Beach

Saturday night Tyler picked me up Saturday night and we embarked on our very first beach trip together. Excited as we were taking a trip together, I had the jitters the whole way there. Although some of those jitters may have been part because it was almost midnight, and I hadn't eaten anything since lunch that day. Sunday early we woke up and put on bathing suits and went straight to my haven. The beach.



As I looked out at the water and wondered how awesome my God is to have created all this, I looked to my right and saw another amazing thing God had created. Tyler. Sometimes I still can't believe how blessed I am to have someone to awesome in my life, and it's all because God put him there.

As time passed into the afternoon our stomachs grew more and more hungry. We decided to hop on our transportation for the next couple days, the golf cart, and ride back up the house and pick up some lunch with the rest of the Sigman clan. Kim, Gary and Tanner. We had some sandwiches and we were ready for our second wind of the day. Thank heavens Kim is a bum like I am and could sit out all day long. So we sat in our chairs in the water and talked the rest of the afternoon. (We talked for hours over the couple of days, it was fantastic).

We spent three days at the beach. Here are some of my favorite highlights.

1. The ride up there. Took about 3 and 1/2 hours to get there. The ride Tyler was so much fun, I always love spending time with him, just us two, singing and talking the whole way there.

2. The McDonalds after midnight that we were dying for.

3. Sitting in the beach chairs with our toes in the sand with Tyler for the first time was magnificent.

4. Diving under and jumping over waves over the course of the three days with Ty. Sometimes the undertow would take me away and Ty would have to hold me so I wouldn't get so far out.

5. Making Dinner with Kim.

6. Seafood with the family.

7. The really boring golf store that we spend over and hour in.

8. Beating Tyler and Tanner in putt putt.

9. Petting the sting rays with at Ripley's aquarium.

10. Laying on the beach at 11 pm watching the illegal fireworks being shot off.

The worst part of the week

1. Going home.

We woke up early this morning so we could get home. Tyler found a job and had to get back to work. We stopped a couple times. One at this awesome rest stop. Tyler was still in the bathroom, so I grabbed my Jagger (my Nikon) and headed down to the sweet little pond at the base of the rest area. Beautiful trees with sun shining through. Fish and turtles in the water. But little did I know, I was down there longer than I thought. I heard a yell and looked up behind me and Tyler was standing at the top of the hill. His arms opened and his eyes wide. I motioned for him to come down to where I was and see my little friends I had made.

As Tyler got closer I realized he wasn't looking forward to seeing my friends as much as he was to grabbing onto me. He grabbed me and I was so confused. But he just held me and said he had been looking for me for 10 minutes, he had even asked a little old lady to go in the bathroom and make sure I wasn't in there. I obviously scared him and never realized it. I felt terrible. I was only looking at a peaceful and calming pond with awesome wildlife while my boyfriend was frantically searching for me thinking the worst. I never realized how much he worries about me until today. It is so nice to be worried about. But I never meant that to happen.

I had such an amazing time at the beach, but now it is back to reality and back to work. I wish I could vacation all summer long!

Not very interesting, but just some thoughts on the week so far.

Zephaniah 3:17

Before Work

I have to leave for work in about 25 minutes. I work at a sport bar and grill called Satisfaction. I enjoy working there. It's pretty laid back and friendly. I am supposed to head to the beach tonight with Tyler, and I am so ready to get out for a couple days and go to the beach and relax, even though there probably won't be much relaxing. I have cleaned the bathroom this morning and mowed the yard. Now I get to go to work. All I am going to think about while working is going to the beach. The beach is my safe haven. My favorite place on earth. I don't know what it is about the beach that just makes everything okay again. And then to be there with the love of my life knowing that for the next couple days nothing is going to go wrong is something I get antsy just thinking about. Sitting on the beach looking out at the horizon knowing that the God that I love and trust made that, and is big enough to fill the entire ocean full of awesome animals and the sand in between my toes comforts me so much. When I'm at the beach I feel closer to my God. I can do so much thinking there and really see what is important to me. The rush and hustle of the life back at home, the no stopping, the constant exhaustion I have from going and going stops when I'm at the beach. So for the next couple days I'm going to relax and let God speak to my heart. I can't wait.
Zephaniah 3:17.

My First Blog

So I have never really blogged before, sorry if it's not very good . Well, here goes nothing, or in this case, anything. A lot of people I know blog. They blog about anything and everything. People blog about music, movies, TV; people blog about what they like, what they don't like; people blog about photography, interviews, weather, trips, facebook, myspace (yes, I said myspace); people blog about cell phones, restaurants, shopping, cooking, cleaning, work, animals, famous people, and these are just the few things I can think off the top of my head. But I'm sure more will come to my head as I'm writing. Well, I'm trying to decide what to write about and I guess I'm wondering why I wanted to start writing a blog. I don't really have a diary, but I would like to. I just get caught up in my day that I forget to write in it. I'm on the computer a lot so I figured this would be an e-diary. Maybe not as personal just because you don't let everyone you know read your diary, but we'll see where this goes. But people have some very insightful things to write, and in my case, read, about. But I guess this first blog isn't very interesting, but I didn't really know what to write about. Once my life gets a little more interesting I will have more things to talk about! Can't wait to blog again. In the meantime, going to sleep, to wake up to another awesome day of heading to the beach with my awesome man Tyler for a couple days!

Zephaniah 3:17.